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Thanks for the replies, I've decided to just run the delete and update commands regularly - there is a security risk with this, but nothing a regular offsite backup can avert in the case of a disaster.

The 2 functions I require are pretty harmless as you can see, would it be possible for an administrator to create them for me?

DELIMITER ;;
CREATE DEFINER=`altisage`@`localhost` PROCEDURE `resetLifeVehicles`()
BEGIN
UPDATE `vehicles` SET `active`= 0;
END;;


DELIMITER ;;
CREATE DEFINER=`altisage ...

also when i click on the Functions button in Navicat i get an error:

Hello, I'm trying to create 2 DEFINER functions but i seem to get an authentication error.

mysql> DELIMITER ;;
CREATE DEFINER=`altisage`@`localhost` PROCEDURE `resetLifeVehicles`()
BEGIN
UPDATE `vehicles` SET `active`= 0;
END
;;
1227 - Access denied; you need (at least one of) the SUPER privilege ...